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In her very first episode after her maternity break,  #impact Podcast host Regina Larko sits down with midwife extraordinaire Sofie Jacobs, Founder of Urban Hatch. 

We talk sleep deprivation, coping with the chaos and surprises that come with becoming a parent and why maternity breaks are actually no break at all. We also talk about a topic that is often overlooked: 1 out of 4 women suffer from some degree of postnatal depression, and that is just the reported cases. We also talk about the dads and partners and how they are affected too and what we all can do to lend someone in need a helping hand. 

In this episode you will learn:

• How we can be more supportive of each other and of ourselves
• How to manage our own expectations about becoming/being a parent
• that s**** happens and how to lower the bar about our own goals
• how most of us are impacted by postnatal depression – no matter if you are a parent yourself or not and warning signs so you can help mothers and parents in need
• the Stigma of Mental Health and why we have to start talking more about how we truly feel

Some of our favourite quotes of this episode – feel free to share them too.

If you aim for perfect, you are F***** Share on X I make certain choices and then I feel - am I going to be judged for that now? Share on X A big part of what I do as a midwife is managing expectations Share on X Your sleep is going to be profoundly changed. For years. Share on X

 

“No matter how much support you have, it is still hard. Becoming a mom – for most people – is very, very hard.” Sofie Jacobs|Urban Hatch

POSTNATAL DEPRESSION and why you should care about this topic

Sofie shared some shocking stats with us in this episode: 1 out of 4 women are affected by postnatal depression, and that are just the reported cases. Add the partners and fathers that can suffer too (yes, this is not just an issue for women and moms per se!) and you begin to understand the scope.

Looking at your circle of women who had kids, or yourself (in the future), or your own moms – looking at the statistics it is safe to say that most of us will know someone who has or is suffering of post natal depression.

There is a stigma when it comes to mental health discussions and we at #impact Podcast believe it is time for all of us to show up for our own as well as the mental health of our loved ones by watching out for warning signs like, as Sofie mentions in this episode – lack of self-care, lack of eye contact and appetite. “What can we do?” Regina asks Sofie in this interview and Sofie has great advice: Just reach out, put a hand on the person’s shoulder and ask “How are you today?”. It is as simple as that. We can all be more supportive of each other by just showing we care and that we care to listen to the real answer.

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POSTPARTUM, MENOPAUSE & HORMONES

This article was first published on https://www.urban-hatch.com/postpartum-mini-menopause/

Postpartum women and menopausal women have a lot more in common than you might think. Sound a little out there? I wanted to share with you my thoughts on how these two transformative moments in a woman’s life are actually very linked. For all you new mums or mums to be, it’s interesting to realise that how you feel after having a baby can be very similar to how you may end up feeling when your reproductive journey comes to an end.

We already know that women go through lots of physical changes during their lives. From the moment we start puberty, our bodies are on a hormonal voyage that can take us all over the place. But hormones and women is a topic that’s still massively trivialised and very misunderstood. It bugs me how women are labelled as over emotional, unmanageable or even hysterical/crazy whenever their hormones are out of balance. Hormones are very powerful and play a fundamental role in our biology. They’re not only responsible for enabling us to reproduce, they also play a huge part in how we feel, or how we may respond to a situation. Hormones can even impact aspects of how we look, so disregarding them as irritating brain foggers is seriously misinformed.

OESTROGEN AND PROGESTERONE

As a midwife, I’m acutely aware of all the different influences that hormones have on women, before, during and after pregnancy. I’ve always found it interesting how postpartum women’s levels of oestrogen and progesterone are often at the same level as menopausal women.

In fact, these events are two of the most hormonally charged in a woman’s life. So let’s do the science bit without getting overly technical. I’ll keep it brief. Pregnancy comes with soaring levels of oestrogen and progesterone. As soon as the placenta comes out, levels of oestrogen and progesterone plummet to perimenopausal levels within 24 hours after giving birth. It can then take a number of months to recover. Progesterone levels usually also drop faster than oestrogen levels. So apart from having to deal with lower levels of both, there is also an imbalance between the two.

When oestrogen levels are out of balance women tend to experience breast tenderness, headaches and fluid retention, but it’s really when mood-elevating progesterone is out of balance that things like postpartum depression, anxiety or low mood can take hold. These symptoms are well documented in postpartum women (baby blues anyone?) and certainly hormones are largely responsible for them. But in any case, it takes a while for our bodies and our minds to adjust after having a baby.

Likewise, during the menopause, levels of oestrogen and progesterone drop with the production of progesterone usually slowing down more quickly. This results in both physical and emotional side effects that have a massive crossover.

Perimenopausal women can experience vaginal dryness, fatigue, night sweats, hair loss, irritability, a decreased sex drive and even depression – and the same symptoms are often true for postpartum women too. Our bodies seem to replicate these strong physical and emotional symptoms at these two key points in our reproductive stories.

CHANGE IS GOOD

What I find most fascinating is how we evolve at each stage of development. Life would be mind-numbingly boring if nothing ever changed, but let’s be honest – embracing these hormonal transitions can sometimes be challenging. On multiple levels – psychologically, physically, emotionally, hormonally etc. Both the menopause and postpartum are amplifiers of change, at fundamental crossroads in our lives. The end of reproduction, or the end of a pregnancy. The beginning of a life without periods. The start of a new motherhood experience. They’re significant rites of passage and catching up with our new selves can take a bit of time.

Accepting the new and letting go of what has gone before is a lot easier to say than to do, especially when the essential issue with both of these life events is the fact that women’s hormones are fundamentally imbalanced. That means our emotions can go through crashing highs and lows. It’s easy to see each stage as an inconvenience but I like to think that our bodies know what they are doing – with our hormonal changes acting as a guide to develop our personal evolution.

FINDING YOUR BALANCE

Nonetheless, no one can deny that stability feels good and it can be helpful to know how to feel more balanced and supported when facing the hormonal challenges of postpartum recovery or impending menopause.

The right nutrition is vital. Eating a balanced diet that’s rich in protein, fibre and healthy fats is an excellent start, and if possible to eliminate sugar, caffeine and alcohol – even better – as these exacerbate negative symptoms even more.

Exercise can also help significantly but only at the right intensity. Early and mid postpartum and perimenopause are not the time to put the body under additional counter-productive stress. Instead opt for restorative, strengthening and balancing forms of exercise that give you strength and energy, rather then depleting you. The wrong type of exercise can make your adrenal glands go wild – hormonal imbalances only get worse with an increase in cortisol – so that means try to stress less too (I know, easier said than done).

RECHARGE AND REFLECT

Rest and relaxation are words that don’t sound particularly compatible with new motherhood but wherever possible to slow things down – do so. The hormonal imbalances of postpartum recovery and of the menopause can wreak havoc with your sleep. So if you’re a new mum with a baby to look after you could easily find yourself feeling like a zombie.

Instead, prioritise good sleep habits by sleeping when your baby sleeps (yes that old chestnut – but do it and you won’t ever regret it) and start taking a 15-20 minute nap. Also set yourself some limits with your tech. Yep, that means stepping away from social media and WhatsApp.

BE MINDFUL OF THE MOMENT

Like any life stage, postpartum recovery (and the menopause) are transient. As you transition from one phase of being to another, mindfulness exercises can be really useful. Learning how to zoom in on the now and zoom out on the past can help you to gain perspective and feel less anxious.

Do more of what brings you joy and less of what makes you miserable. Surround yourself with people you feel good around and ditch the ones that suck the life out of you. Never underestimate the power of people!

Remember, hormonal changes will end eventually. Once they do we can often look back at them as moments in our lives that were highly charged with extremes. That means as well as the tough parts, there’s bound to be moments and memories within these transitions that are also deeply profound.

About the author: Sofie Jacobs graduated in Midwifery in Belgium in 1998, before moving to London to gain some tough but well-rounded experience, and in 2012 settling into her current home, Hong Kong. Between working in the NHS and private healthcare, Sofie has nearly 20 years of experience helping parents-to-be from all over the world, of varying ages and backgrounds.

Find more information on https://www.urban-hatch.com

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