It takes around 40 hours to put one episode for #impact Podcast together, and there are moments where I seriously doubt if it is all worth it. One of these moments was last Friday.

When I hit my low point I asked myself: How bad do I want this?
Why do I want this?
Is my work making an impact?

As an entrepreneur, you face challenges all the time but the crash of my Apple Mail inbox in the very week I had the most defining partnership meetings for #impact Podcast so far and very important follow-up emails to write put me in an awful spot.

Even my brother tried to help me remotely all the way from Austria to solve my server problem in Hong Kong. I knew it was bad, when even he – the most talented and dedicated IT support specialist I know- said: “I am so sorry, but I can’t help you.”

I had spent wasted a whole day on support live chats and web forums, resetting my account several times. Nothing worked. It was so frustrating, I wanted to cry. 

If I read my User and Password is invalid one more time…AHHH!!! HELP!!! Oh, how I wish I knew more about IT.

I left the office on Friday evening feeling defeated, like a complete failure and the only thing that cheered me up was the thought of coming home to snuggle with my 2-year-old daughter. When I opened the door a very fever-y, weak girl barely had the strength to greet me. I’ve been busy worrying about her all weekend and feeling rather stupid that an email inbox got me so upset in the first place.

So how bad do I want this?

This weekend I doubted, I worried, I felt exhausted and sad.

Monday came, and with my daughter getting better, I made it just in time to a support meeting at the Apple Genius bar. There I heard precisely what I expected: “The problem must be on your provider’s side,” a friendly employee said. Of course, I had checked with the provider about the issue, and he assured that all settings were alright from their end and that the problem must be on my Mac’s side.

Back to square one. At that point I did the only thing that made sense:

I bought myself a chocolate croissant, and I accepted that there was nothing I could do at this point and just get on with all the urgent issues I had to follow up on. With or without my Inbox.

“REGINA, JUST MOVE ON,” I heard that voice inside my head screaming at me.

But then I made one last attempt of resetting and reinstalling everything, and the miracle happened:

It worked! I don’t why; I don’t know how and at this point I really did not care. It worked and I was back on top of the world.
Yes, I can do this! You don’t beat me Inbox-monster! I am well aware a new challenge lurks just around the corner and there will be a time when it won’t miraculously solve itself.

So why am I telling you all this?

Running this Podcast, there are setbacks along the way all the time, sometimes technical, sometimes topical and sometimes emotional. But not only do I keep wondering how bad I want this but also if my work is making the impact I want to see.

It takes 40 hours to put one episode for #impact Podcast together, and of course, there are moments – like last Friday -where I seriously doubt if it is all worth it. Wouldn’t I make more impact by joining a well established social enterprise or Non-Profit instead?

In moments like this, I go back to my biggest driver – My WHY:

I want more people to hear about the impactful work of the guests on #impact Podcast and inspire our listeners to go out and make their change – big or small.

In this weeks episode (Release date: Oct 18th, 2017) you will hear one of the biggest reasons why I keep going.

Episode 31 featuring Samantha Aloysius, Volunteer at Crossroads Foundation. Listen here. (Release date: Oct, 18th 2017)

I keep going because talking with Samantha showed me that this Podcast is supporting our featured guests to gain a new audience, find new volunteers, supporters, donors and followers.

It’s #impact listeners like Samantha Aloysius who I interviewed in this week’s episode, that make me understand that this Podcast is much more than just a series of interviews. #impact Podcast actually does make an impact.

This is exactly why I want this so bad. I want this Podcast to make a difference, just like all the organisations featured on the show are.

Yes, it’s painful at times, and there are doubts and setbacks. It took me a while to accept that setbacks are part of the deal. Shake off the hardships and move on, I hear Animals Asia founder Jill Robinson’s wise word’s ring in my head.

I have to keep going. I just want it too bad.

This week’s episode is dedicated to all our listeners and readers out there. THANK YOU for listening. THANK YOU for caring. You keep me going.

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